22 Immediate Reactions While Watching Gaga’s New Video

Lady Gaga came out with a new music video yesterday. I watched it today for the first time.

1. OMG GAGA. Is this going to be safe for work? I’m nervous.

2. Oh dear. A little much, Gaga.                      3. Are they wearing black garbage bags? I’m going with yes.4. Jesus. Crucifixion imagery. Cue rumblings of the Illuminati…The catholic church is going to have something to say about this…5. Aaanndd, Hitler. There are going to be a lot of pissed off people. What has it been, 1 minute?6. Amish-y nuns take Gaga to the water. The pool water.7. W. T. F. Looking a bit folksy. This took an interesting turn. Wait a minute…Is that? Are they? Those are the Housewives. I immediately love this.

8. There is so much going on here. A. I love Lisa Vanderpump. More Lisa, less Richard sisters. B. Girl has no idea how cellos work. What is that standing behind all of them?9. Oh. My. God. It’s Andy frickin’ Cohen. As a giant head in the sky. Makes sense? Wish I could see more of him… #hottie10. Dance sequence. Also, where’s the guy from So You Think You Can Dance?11. Finally. #boyz #absonabs12. I love everything about this. GOOOOLLLDDD. My iPhone and I would fit in perfectly with this.Also, I never thought a bow and arrow could be so sexual. I’m so into this.

13. I don’t even want to know.

14. Minecraft? Okay, now you’re just pandering…15. It’s Jesus and Ghandi. *shakeshead

16. More Vanderpump. Shut up. It’s perfect. They’re like Mean Girls. 4 for you, Gaga. You go, Gaga.17. Hmm, is this some commentary on Wall Street and consumerism? 18. [opens new tab] [immediately searches LG] Also, how can I become one of these men in this video?19. This makes me incredibly uncomfortable…20. There aren’t enough men or abs in this scene. WTF, Gaga.21. It’s like a puppy mill. But instead of puppies, it’s pushing out hott men. ZOMG, what if they were all holding puppies?!22. Wait…it’s over? There’s so much time left. Ugh. Also, Gaga directed. Shoulda used Jonas Akerlund. SPEECHLESS. I have so many feelings right now. But, I lost my mood ring, so I don’t know what to feel.